CNN NEWS: Update
"Leave of abscence has officially been canceled for Atlanta police officers for the weekend of April 16-18, as they will all be expected to work 12 hour shifts in preparation for the return of the infamous FREAKNIK. Swarms of winged gold-toothed monkeys have already been spotted trailing behind candy painted cars along I-285 into the Atlanta area. Ever since rumors have circulated on Facebook & Twitter that the legendary college picnic had returned, students have cancelled plans to go visit their families for spring break instead, opting out to shake their booties on top of custom candy painted cars, parade the streets of Atlanta butt-naked, pop thizzles (extacy), and act a complete ass with flying gold- toothed porch monkeys from outer space! Mayor Kisim Reed who stated to the press in February, "I don't believe it will materialize, and it's not my intention that the city will be supportive of it", is now sweating 357 slugs as he briefs the Atlanta Police for the 3-DAY FESTIVAL of ASS & TITTIES, and says it's not the students or residents that he's worried about, it's the swarm of winged thugged-out horny extraterrestrial flying gold-toothed monkeys from outer-space cities like St. Louis, Kansas City, Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis, Houston, and lord knows where who come to breed and spread their seed of embryo winged gold-toothed little monkeys during the mating season known as Freaknik. Atlanta already has their very own flying monkeys to deal with in addition to the surplus. Sources close to the movement say the horny winged monkeys, some of which are fresh out the joint, are very thirsty, due to the fact they they haven't seen a Freaknik festival in over 10 years. Although the Mayor is prepared to take whatever means necessary to ensure a safe environment, organizer's of the event swear on their left nut that it will be orderly and peaceful fun for young adults, and promise that the flying monkeys only come to make LOVE, not WAR, and that even though they're strapped with razor sharp chicken bones and hollow-tipped watermelon seeds, it's only to protect them and their females from other horny hatin'ass-monkeys with no formal home training that get oiled-up (full of liquor) and don't know how conduct themselves, cuz they ain't never been out of town, and they act like they ain't never seen no got-damn pussy!!!
As one event organizer who wished to remain anonymous said: "Some of these monkey ass niggas from outer space ain't never been outside they got-damn projects, let alone, to a nice 3-day event with beautiful black women dressed half naked shaking they asses in the middle of busy intersections with no panties and miniskirts blowing in a breeze of cush under beautiful sunshine!!! Now, .... add that shit with some Grey Goose + Ecstacy + Tank Full of Gas + Hotel rooms full of other Horny Winged Monkeys and voila! What do we have here? ....... Honestly, I don't blame ya'll for being a little worried, but trust me, we just here to PARTY! We ain't had this shit in so long, it's gonna be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much PRETTY BLACK ASS occupying our time, that WE AIN'T GONNA HAVE TIME TO BE TRIPPIN OFF SHIT ELSE!!!!!! PLEASE BELIEVE IT!"
So far things have been calm in the area, but flying gold-toothed monkeys have been spotted buying fitted's, forces & exclusive J's like a rabbit hopping through hell with gasoline on his tail!!! Resident's are stocking up on liquor condoms and black n' milds getting t-shirts and hats airbrushed with 7-11 logos hoping to cash in on the event, and stripper's are putting down payments on condominiums and planning trips to fucking St. Tropez!!! Will it live up to the hype after 10 years of hibernation? Only time will reveal. Reporting live from Atlanta, Georgia, This is LARRY KING with CNN NEWS.
---CNN.COM/LARRYKING
"Leave of abscence has officially been canceled for Atlanta police officers for the weekend of April 16-18, as they will all be expected to work 12 hour shifts in preparation for the return of the infamous FREAKNIK. Swarms of winged gold-toothed monkeys have already been spotted trailing behind candy painted cars along I-285 into the Atlanta area. Ever since rumors have circulated on Facebook & Twitter that the legendary college picnic had returned, students have cancelled plans to go visit their families for spring break instead, opting out to shake their booties on top of custom candy painted cars, parade the streets of Atlanta butt-naked, pop thizzles (extacy), and act a complete ass with flying gold- toothed porch monkeys from outer space! Mayor Kisim Reed who stated to the press in February, "I don't believe it will materialize, and it's not my intention that the city will be supportive of it", is now sweating 357 slugs as he briefs the Atlanta Police for the 3-DAY FESTIVAL of ASS & TITTIES, and says it's not the students or residents that he's worried about, it's the swarm of winged thugged-out horny extraterrestrial flying gold-toothed monkeys from outer-space cities like St. Louis, Kansas City, Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis, Houston, and lord knows where who come to breed and spread their seed of embryo winged gold-toothed little monkeys during the mating season known as Freaknik. Atlanta already has their very own flying monkeys to deal with in addition to the surplus. Sources close to the movement say the horny winged monkeys, some of which are fresh out the joint, are very thirsty, due to the fact they they haven't seen a Freaknik festival in over 10 years. Although the Mayor is prepared to take whatever means necessary to ensure a safe environment, organizer's of the event swear on their left nut that it will be orderly and peaceful fun for young adults, and promise that the flying monkeys only come to make LOVE, not WAR, and that even though they're strapped with razor sharp chicken bones and hollow-tipped watermelon seeds, it's only to protect them and their females from other horny hatin'ass-monkeys with no formal home training that get oiled-up (full of liquor) and don't know how conduct themselves, cuz they ain't never been out of town, and they act like they ain't never seen no got-damn pussy!!!
As one event organizer who wished to remain anonymous said: "Some of these monkey ass niggas from outer space ain't never been outside they got-damn projects, let alone, to a nice 3-day event with beautiful black women dressed half naked shaking they asses in the middle of busy intersections with no panties and miniskirts blowing in a breeze of cush under beautiful sunshine!!! Now, .... add that shit with some Grey Goose + Ecstacy + Tank Full of Gas + Hotel rooms full of other Horny Winged Monkeys and voila! What do we have here? ....... Honestly, I don't blame ya'll for being a little worried, but trust me, we just here to PARTY! We ain't had this shit in so long, it's gonna be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much PRETTY BLACK ASS occupying our time, that WE AIN'T GONNA HAVE TIME TO BE TRIPPIN OFF SHIT ELSE!!!!!! PLEASE BELIEVE IT!"
So far things have been calm in the area, but flying gold-toothed monkeys have been spotted buying fitted's, forces & exclusive J's like a rabbit hopping through hell with gasoline on his tail!!! Resident's are stocking up on liquor condoms and black n' milds getting t-shirts and hats airbrushed with 7-11 logos hoping to cash in on the event, and stripper's are putting down payments on condominiums and planning trips to fucking St. Tropez!!! Will it live up to the hype after 10 years of hibernation? Only time will reveal. Reporting live from Atlanta, Georgia, This is LARRY KING with CNN NEWS.
---CNN.COM/LARRYKING
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